Monday, October 03, 2005

The Ayatollah's Little Book of Etiquette

A little lesson in morality and, uh, etiquette from the Ayatollah Khomeini, via Harpers:

Posted on Thursday, February 10, 2005. From “A Clarification of Questions,” by Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, published in 1985 by the Westview Press. Khomeini's treatise sets out his position on 3,000 questions of everyday life. Translated by J. Borujerdi. Originally from June 1985.

64. Evacuation is unlawful in four places. First, in dead-end alleys. (Pastorius note: Presumably, this means it's ok to evacuate in an alley which enters into another street.) Second, on the property of a person who has not given his permission. Third, in a place assigned to a specific group of people, such as some schools. Fourth, over the graves of the faithful, if it would be considered disrespectful.

107. The whole body of an infidel, even the hair, the nails, and its wetness, is unclean. (Check. Got it.)

462. Divorcing a menstruating woman is void. (This is actually probably a good idea. You know how they can be. Hope I didn't offend anyone.)

464. If a woman begins menstruating while praying, her prayer is void. (Maybe Allah feels the same way, huh? Better just to wait until they're in their right mind again.)

2,629. It is not unlawful to swallow the food that exits from between the teeth as a result of flossing if one's nature has no aversion to it. (Glad I got that one clarified.)

2,631. It is loathsome to eat the meat of a horse, a mule, or a donkey if someone has had coitus with the animal. (Once again, this one dances just outside the periphery of actual common sense.)

Well, all I can say in conclusion, is I'm glad the Ayatollah's mind was suitably occupied.