Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Uh,
About
Those
72
Virgins


JMJ, my blogbrother at the Infidel Blog Alliance, ponders, as any man would, the delectable mysteries of the 72 Virgins:


  • Why exactly 72 virgins (or whatever the number is) ? Why not 71 or 73?
  • Does eternal bliss = (1) virgin every hour x (3) days straight! Its the only "72" calculation I could come up with. Or maybe the cosine of pie = 72???
  • Once all 72 are eventually non-virgins, are they still “available” for any future fun? Or by definition, does that mean ... :(
  • So if you are shit outta luck after 72, is the potential suicide bomber aware of this small but very important fact? I don't know about you but this would definitely affect my decision making process. I'm usually pro-choice but this would surely make me pro-life…Mine!!
  • Does one need to get married to these virgins before one can actually have sex with them?
  • If not, would that be a sin?
  • Can one actually commit a sin in heaven? Especially if this was all set up by, you know, the big man.
  • And if it is a sin, do you then lose all your "privileges" and are you now headed "elsewhere"? What an ironic and unexpected turn of events that would be, huh?! I just hope these people have really thought through all the possibilities before the "big bang".

And finally, and this really is the big one for me, what if, (drum roll please) ......SEX DOES NOT EXIST......in the after life? Suicide Bomber Recruiter to Suicide Bomber after the fact - "Well, ummm, gee....Sorry 'bout that. I guess it was just a small misunderstanding. Forgive me please????"