Thursday, February 16, 2006

Russia Warns U.S.
Striking Iran

The Godfather hugs Tataglia, while Barzini looks on.

From Breitbart:

Russia's top military chief on Thursday warned the United States against launching a military strike against Iran and a top diplomat voiced hope that close cooperation with China could help resolve the Tehran nuclear crisis.

With tension mounting over Iran's nuclear programs, Gen. Yuri Baluyevsky, the chief of Russia's general staff, warned the United States against attacking Iran.

"A military scenario can't be ruled out," Baluyevsky was quoted as saying by Russian news agencies.

He said that while Iran's military potential cannot compare to the United States', "it is hard to predict how the Muslim world will respond to the use of force against Iran."

"This may stir the whole world, and it is crucial to prevent anything like that," Baluyevsky was quoted as saying.

Deputy Foreign Minister Alexander Alekseyev, meanwhile, said that cooperation with China could help push Iran toward accepting Moscow's offer to host Iran's uranium enrichment program.

The Russian proposal has become a centerpiece of international efforts to defuse tensions over Tehran's nuclear ambitions.

"We are counting on the continuation of close contacts with our Chinese colleagues and other interested countries," Alekseyev was quoted as saying by the Interfax news agency. He added, however, that the Iranian nuclear issue recently had become "sharper," and "it is too early to assess the effectiveness of our joint steps to resolve it."

Iran's ambassador to Moscow said Thursday that Tehran hoped Russia would be able to help resolve the international crisis surrounding the Iranian nuclear program.

"Taking into account the good relations between Russia and Iran, I hope that together we can overcome this crisis which has arisen recently," Gholamreza Ansari said at a meeting with Russian lawmakers.

For God's sake, read those parts I highlighted, and ask yourself, doesn't it sound like those lines could have been written by the Onion?

The thing is, we have no idea whether the writer of the above Breitbart article is cognizant of the irony of those quotes. And, of course, as a disinterested and objective journalist, he has no reason to be cognizant of irony, right?

An example:

"..a top diplomat voiced hope that close cooperation with China could help resolve the Tehran nuclear crisis."

might as well be

Hey, you go see my friend Frankie Three-Balls down at the corner. You tell him I sent you. He'll make sure no one knocks over your liquor store again, ok?

Like my friend Atlas Shrugs always says, Iran is the Tataglias. Russia and China are Barzini.

Yeah, you gotta know your Godfather to get it, but suffice it to say, China and Russia are playing us. Iran is their weapon of choice.

Screw this. Get the bombing over with already.