Wednesday, April 26, 2006

We Hold
To Be
Self-Evident ...

Spanish Prime Minister Zapatero, who was voted in by a frightened, and pacifistic, Spanish electorate in the wake of the 7/7 bombings, has made it his latest, and most urgent, cause to insure that apes are granted the same rights as humans.

Little Green Footballs brought us this post, and this comments thread, yesterday afternoon:

The Spanish Socialist Party will introduce a bill in the Congress of Deputies calling for “the immediate inclusion of (simians) in the category of persons, and that they be given the moral and legal protection that currently are only enjoyed by human beings.” The PSOE’s justification is that humans share 98.4% of our genes with chimpanzees, 97.7% with gorillas, and 96.4% with orangutans.

The party will announce its Great Ape Project at a press conference tomorrow. An organization with the same name is seeking a UN declaration on simian rights which would defend ape interests “the same as those of minors and the mentally handicapped of our species.”

According to the Project, “Today only members of the species Homo sapiens are considered part of the community of equals. The chimpanzee, the gorilla, and the orangutan are our species’s closest relatives. They possess sufficient mental faculties and emotional life to justify their inclusion in the community of equals.”

In this case, the comments thread is as important as the post:

#13 DockScience 4/25/2006 05:35PM PDT
Actually you have this backwards, socialists downgrade humans to status of apes.

#24 kateca 4/25/2006 05:47PM PDT
Can they run for office?

#26 varmint 4/25/2006 05:47PM PDT
they need to be given a seat, with full voting rights, at the U.N. i want to see a gorilla in a poo flinging fight with the french ambassador.

the only good i can see in a muslim take over of europe is that the imams would have this guy locked in a nuthouse wher he belongs.

#44 jpsfudimo 4/25/2006 05:49PM PDT
Bad Monkey

#72 Lizard by the Bay 4/25/2006 05:57PM PDT
More evidence that the left is truly (and has always been) anti-human. They have now reduced being human to just being one more monkey, for all legal purposes.
If I were in Spain, I'd fling my own shit at Zapatero while howling.

#83 Pastorius 4/25/2006 05:59PM PDT
I guess this means that now apes can go on the dole.

#84 St. Pancake 4/25/2006 05:59PM PDT
Here's a joke: Once there was a monkey who figured out his gencodes. It made him proud, until he heard that he shared 98% of the same gencodes as a human being. The simian was so shocked he needed years of therapy before he could design a tool without trembling.

#91 Sol Roth 4/25/2006 06:00PM PDT
I wait with baited breath for the first interspecies marriage. I project a high probability it will consist of an ELF freakazoid who travels to Seville.
Priest: Do you, Bruce, take this orangutan to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Bruce: I do.
Priest: Do you, KoKo, take Bruce to be your lawfully wedded human?
KoKo: Ooooogaboooga!
Priest: I now pronounce you Human and Beast and the whole world has gone batshit.
Priest: You may now fling feces at the, er, your beloved spouse.

#98 Ringo the Gringo 4/25/2006 06:01PM PDT
Does this mean that apes can now vote in Spain?

#190 Jim C. 4/25/2006 07:55PM PDT
I am against unnecessary cruelty to animals. But here's a big fear of mine: the result of treating animals like people, including stuff like this, PETA, and the general animal so-called "rights" movement, will be that people will be increasingly treated like animals. And I fear this is deliberate.

I distinctly remember being in Sunday School when I was five years old, and our teacher told us a story from the Bible about people worshipping rocks. I thought that was so strange that I didn't believe the story. How could people come to a place where they would worship a rock?

Now that we are older, of course, we see that there is, seemingly, no limit to the foolishness of mankind.