Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I Am So Flaming Gay


There's a group of Democrats who have decided they are going to out closeted gay Republicans. I don't care if someone is gay, or whether they are closeted or not (although, I would prefer for their own mental health that they could be honest with themselves and others) so I'm with The Anchoress on her proposed solution to this new leftie idiocy.

I'm not much of a bandwagon jumper, but I think even I am going to have totak a leap (a la FTD florist) onto this queer caravan:


... I’d love to see an GOP campaign ad based on Roger Simon’s bit of fun, and that great, “I’m a drag queen,” scene from To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar, wherein a whole town of (probably conservative) formerly unglamorous people - newly made fabulous - help out a few drag queens who are being pursued by a stupid hick of a sheriff.

Wouldn’t it be great? You start it off with a little voice-over explaining that the Democrats have decided that this is the Gay-outting season and that in the spirit of the thing, the following Republicans had decided to out themselves. Then you have a montage of various Republicans facing the camera:

Newt Gingrich: “I’m gay!”

Bill Frist: “I’m gay!”

Ann Coulter: “I’m so gay, I’m actually a man!”

Rush Limbaugh: “I’m a harmless, lovable little fuzzball of gay!”

Arnold Schwartzenegger: “I am a little girlie man!”

Richard Nixon (with computer enhanced mouth): “I am not a crook, but I’m so gay you can’t stand it!”

Rudy Giuliani: (in famous wig from any one of several skits he’s done in drag, and his NY ‘tude) “Come over here and tell me I’m not gay.”

President George H. W. Bush: “I’m gay! Bar’s gay, too!”

President George W. Bush (clutching Barney): Me and Barney are gay, and so is this kick-ass economy!