Friday, June 29, 2007

Is An

I often wonder at what a jerk I am, or perhaps I should say, at what a jerk I have become.

On 9/11, I told my wife that the world was going to change; we were now clearly at war, and I might end up being called into the military. To my amazement, and my disgust, our country never truly realized the threat we face, and I was, obviously not called into service.

However, as I told my wife, I have one talent in life, and that is the ability to write, and thus, this is what I do.

We need to win this war, my friends. If not, our children are going to live a life of horror unlike any nightmare that we have ever had.

I will do whatever it takes to win.

I will not succumb to the idea that our enemy is our friend because he knows how to speak kind words periodically. I will not succumb to the idea that Islamofascism is a law enforcement problem. I will not succumb to the fatalist Christian idea that we are in the End Times.

I will continue to fight as long as G-d grants me breath in my lungs.

But, as Nietzsche said, be careful that you do not become the monster whom you fight. I sometimes fear that I am becoming a monster. And sometimes, I fear that my fear of becoming a monster might just be the weakening of my resolve.

I am on a road, my path of destiny, and there is no turning back.

If I make mistakes, I pray that G-d will forgive me.

Here is a letter I wrote to my blog partner Publius 2000 last night. I go to church with Publius and I have immense respect for both his intelligence and his decency.

This might just be me exhibiting my insecurities, but one thing I really like about the idea of having you on the show is to demonstrate the kind of ideology I am grounded in.

As you and I and Ronit have discussed from the very beginning of our endeaovors, I am a consistent and passionate mouthpiece, but I am also a jerk. I come off as a bit of a loon. The thing is, I am not a loon, but there is something about the way I represent myself that puts across that idea.

You, in particular, and Ronit as well, come across as more reasonable people than I.

I may be a good mouthpiece, because I am willling to speak out ALL THE TIME, but I think I need help.

I have friends in the blog world who are like you. Baron and Dymphna at Gates of Vienna are similar to you. They are both professorial types who have a lot of respect for what I do.

I see myself as a Thomas Paine type of person. I am an agitator. I am a troublemaker at heart, but/and that kind of thing is needed in times like we are living in.

I am not the bad guy I often represent myself as. I am not just a sloganeer. You know me. I am a person with an appreciation for subtelties and nuances. If I weren't that, I wouldn't be friends with people like you and Ronit.

But, the fact remains, that I am willing to cut through subtelty and nuance more often than most. I am more than willing to summarize complicated ideas into cheapassed slogans for the masses. I think this kind of thing is needed during time of war.

I have developed a very specific strategy to what I am doing (which I choose not to share with anyone).

I believe that I am sacrificing myself for a greater good. I believe I am doing something on a macro-level which is for the best, but if looked at from an individual standpoint, I'm just being an asshole.

You said to me something to the effect of, "Well, if you are ok with what you are doing spiritually, then good for you ...."

Well, like I said, I'm not totally ok with what I'm doing.

But, I'm doing what I'm doing with a bigger strategy.

I'm a propagandist.

I told my wife on 9/11 that this was a talent I have. I have been in advertising all of my adult life. I have an ability to condense and codify complicated ideas. I think I need to do this, and I need to do it for the complicated demographics and psychographics of Western Civilization. We are a very complicated cultue. We are not multicultral, as our leaders would like us to believe, but instead, as free people, we have chosen, many different lifestyles, as is our right.

I am trying to give voice and celebrate that freedom, and that right.

I believe I am doing a good job.

More and more, I recognize that I am in exile from the people that I admire and love. I think you might be one of the few people who has the historical understanding to know that there is precendent for what I do.

Or, maybe, I really am just a jerk.

I don't know.

But, I am trying to do my best to give voice to the concerns of our team. I am trying to make sure that our team (the West) speaks of victory, and not of defeat.

I hope this makes sense to you.

I have no idea how he will respond, and in a sense in doesn't matter, because as I said, this is my destined path.

I would like my Christian friends to understand, but I don't think they will.

I am an asshole. I am a jerk. I am becoming a person that I never anticipated that I would become. I have been a peaceful person all my life. I am a lifelong registered Democrat. I was, basically, a Pacifist and a leftie, but I can not stand by and watch our leaders hand over the keys to Western Civilization to the enemies of freedom.

I love my family, and I love my friends with more tenderness every day of my life, because I am realizing more and more how precious our beautiful lives are here in America. But, there are entire swaths of the world that are completely dominated by hatred and insanity.

We need to put a stop to that, my friends, or it will put a stop to us!