Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Divided Soul

I am adopted.

Hence, I am a divided soul.

It seems to me, a divided soul divides, continually, itself from itself.

This is the condition of the human race, but it is felt acutely, as if it were a kind of metasticized cancer, in the adopted person.

I once began a piece of fiction I wrote with the following words:

By the time I was born, I had had enough of death ...

Only an adopted person can truly understand that statement, and yet, every human can sympathize with such a feeling.

The Bible says,

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ ...

I cry Abba (Father - "Daddy"), like a Blues singer, "all night long ..."

The great stories of the Bible (of Moses, of Ruth, of David) are stories of longing. Longing is the story of the human spirit.

How long, Oh Lord, how long?

(to be continued)